“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! The LORD of hosts is with us, the God of Jacob is our refuge.” – Psalm 46:10-11
I pulled into the post office parking space and pushed the engine button to off. I was frozen, staring as patrons scurried past and into the building. Sky gray. Mood gray.
I pulled the red and white flowered cotton mask over my face and marched my excuse-to-leave-the-house package to the self-service postage station. I bubbled wrapped a puzzle for a friend. It was the least I could do to keep from wallowing in stuck-at-home misery.
What I really wanted to slap a postage stamp on was my smile or a great big hug…in person. I’d even do a singing telegram at this point if only someone would take me up on it. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
While I understand that staying at home is necessary, I am not experienced at being still. And there is a measure of stillness that has been served up lately. No matter how many family game nights, bake offs, or video exercise challenges I participate in, there is more quiet, alone time than I bargained for.
It’s uncomfortable! Not having control of what happens is uncomfortable, and I am afraid. You too?
When I was a child and my parents divorced, I kept my head above water by staying active, involved, and never at home. I tap danced, ice skated, played soccer, cheered, and starred on a traveling jump rope team. I threw myself into every activity I could possibly find to rise above the fear and outrun the pain.
The Corona Virus doesn’t give me a way out of stillness. I can’t run from the uncertainty or the illness by joining a club or meeting up with friends for happy hour. National, state, and county requirements say I am safer at home…with my family and my thoughts.
It’s okay that we aren’t doing cartwheels. It’s okay that we don’t know how to work, learn, and dwell…at home…together…all hours of the day. It’s okay that we can’t seem to get it together.
And it’s okay that we are battling with a gamut of emotions, some of which are not pleasant. I am angry. I feel lost. Not enough. Alone.
I sat in my car this week bolstering the courage to emerge and mail a package. What! For a moment or two…weeks, I forgot who was in control. I forgot that God is on the throne. I lost sight of Him in the midst of me.
“Hi, it’s Robbie and um guess what I finished last night? My last jigsaw puzzle. Do I order one? Is anybody open? I don’t’ check mail very often, but I checked our mail today. This is a joy, a prayer answered,” she said.
Her gratitude for the puzzle package reminded me of His sovereign purpose at work. His word says that we can hide in Him and that He will be glorified. He is God!
Am I the only one who loses sight of this at times? At this time?
What can we learn from stillness?
I am learning that God has rich, beautiful time with my family that the rat-race pace of my typical professional world does not allow.
I am learning that God speaks to me when I am still. He comforts my fears and injects purpose into my daily routine.
I am learning that He can use me in the smallest of ways to remind others of the same.
It’s okay to be still.